*Almost* Tranquil



Today. was. a. GOOD. day

I normally wouldn't mention such a trivial thing, but considering the roller coaster of these past few weeks-its a welcome change! :) 
Letting go...is happening! Slowly, but steadily! Not easy, but doable!

And the memories are slowly beginning to blur at the edges. But here's the thing, when I started this whole process of letting go-the intention was to hold onto the person, not the memories! I still want to hold onto the person, yes, but just not in the same way as before. Maybe that IS the whole process of moving on. And sometimes that moving on helps you realize what place this person holds in your life. And how far you are willing to go to keep them in your life...

...Talking to them doesn't hurt as much anymore. It doesn't bring back a gush of overwhelming emotions. You don't browse through their pictures a million times trying to memorize every curve of their face. Your heart doesn't skip a beat like it used to. Every love song doesn't remind you of them. You don't sink under the weight of the butterflies in your tummy. You even manage to breathe easier inspite of hearing their voice on the other end of the line. They still bring a smile to your face, no doubt, but that once upon a time cheek-to-cheek, jaw hurting grin goes missing. Its like someone has pressed the rewind button on your life with this person and a slideshow of memories going in reverse flashes right before your very eyes. Sad in some ways, but necessary! *smiles calmly*
P.S. On a completely different note, I can't seem to stop singing Christmas carols in my head! *dreaming of eggnog, sugar cookies, Starbucks holiday flavored coffees, twinkling lights around every corner, colorful decorative trees, snowflakes on my nose, warm scarfs, the shopping...oh-the-shopping! the tinkering bells, Santa's belly shaking like a bowl fulla jelly, the HO-HO-HO's, the hustle n the bustle* Oh holy mother of G-D, I miss HOME!! :'( :'(

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